Your wish is simply not granted since I can't think of a way to corrupt it.

I wish my brain wasn't part of a sentient dildo made for men.

OK, wish granted, but now your brain is instead part of a colo-rectal examination instrument used on morbidly obese people who are also incontinent - and nobody hardly never cleans you!

I wish "penis" was spelled "penUs" instead.

It is now officially spelled punUs, but since no one was told they all still spell is penis.

I wish again that slayers again would have work resumed on it and that my wish would be granted.

Since no one knows who Slayers are, your wish is impossible to grant, and they are stuck being bums and collecting change on the side of the road.

I wish that you guys would stop trying to put my brain in peoples' asses.

Edit: after all that work I am too late....


Karnie accepts his fate, but it still gets worse for him, he now is shoved into elephents asses as well as horses.

I wish Karnie would look up slayers in wikipedia:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slayers

He does, but the work you want still isn't resumed.

I wish I would get a really big raise.

You get a really big raise so you get paid 60 billion dollars per hour, but the government takes it all away with taxes so you are left with 3 dollars per hour pay....

I wish my legs wheren't so restless...

You go to a doctor, get diagnosed with Restless Leg Syndrome and treated with a Valium script. You then become hopelessly addicted to it and finally die of an overdose.

I wish I was capable of unassisted flight.

you are capable, but you're stuck in a busted up plane and it won't take off, and get the blame for it.

i wish these people would stop blowing off their fireworks so my dog would shut the hell up...

The fireworks stop, but your dog starts barking at the neighbors instead and they won't go away...

(Yeah I know, fireworks are about to start here and this will the first fourth of july for my puppy and shes a barker. I think I am going to fall asleep with a headache tonight...)

I wish I didn't get so tired when I want to watch stuff late at night....

You don't get tired, but everything you want to watch is cancelled and replaced with endless repeats of 'Surprise Surprise'.

I wish the company wasn't moving to Orton Bloody Southgate.

Granted! They are here.

I wish I wasn't so bloody tired...

Granted, you died of exhaustion.

I wish I had a clue what to wish for.

You have a clue, but not a very good one.

I wish it wasn't so hot outside...

(Martin: I don't watch TV much, DVDs don't get cancled.

It's now -63 degrees C, outside and in.

I wish I knew what I wanted.

you find out what you want, and get it, but you don't know what to do with it

i wish it would stop raining...

And so it does, and draught overtakes the world which dries, solders and burns until the entire planet is a lifeless globe of gas connected only by gravity.
I wish that Gore had contested the 2000 election results in Florida, and that Nader's people had all pushed their votes toward Gore.

He does, but Bush still wins....

I wish that I had more As Divine Grace to listen to.