That did of course happen. You should know, you being Sauron.

I wish to have an endless supply of good wine.

You have the wine, but you now have no mouth. Heh, use your nose ?

I wish I wasnt so sleepy.

*The angel Michelangelo appears and gives you a sixpack of Red Bull energy drink.*

I wish I had something to wish.

You know do, but you lost your arms, legs, tongue, eyes, ears, teeth, ability to move your neck, and ability to feel anything, how will you ever tell anyone what it is?

I wish people would start actaully granting wishes instead of saying "you are this so you don't grant it".

It doesn't scare you, that was just your human side going through human feelings, your true 'vampiric' side loved the storm.

I wish wishing wasn't so wishful.

Only the bad and corrupted wishes come true.

I wish I had a delicious steak.

You had a few years ago, now you're hungry again.

I wish I would manage to continue eating without bad effects.

granted, now you could manage to continue eating with worse effects

I wish i could think of a wish.

Wish granted.

I wish I had three dollars.

I give you 3 dollars but the IRS comes and takes it away. Sowwie hun

I wish I had some pancakes right now!

But you do! There's a whole stack on your plate right in front of you dripping with butter and maple syrup! But then on your first bite, you chomp down on a nice crunchy COCKROACH that was baked right into the middle of the stack by a sadistic cook!

I wish I had three more wishes that couldn't be corrupted...

granted...but you suddenly die a miserable death and the wishes are lost by default based on the wish laws (article 7a, issue 91743, para 3154, line 232, 21/2/54 AD)

I wish that book actually existed.

It does, and all the legal mumbo jumbo prevents any good wishes from coming true, especially yours.

I wish for a baked potato.

Here you go. You receive a baked potato that has been in the oven for so long that it doesn't even look like a potato anymore.

I wish I had chocolate icecream.

But one of my wishes was to not die a miserable death and so lose the wishes!


You got it! Too bad you're allergic to it though. Here, let me finish that for you...

I wish that guava was a donut...

It is a donut; you're just so coked on various drugs, that you'll probably die in a few minutes before you get to eat your guava donut.

I wish Trog was a prettier woman....

he is a prettier woman, aside from the facial hair, body hair, rough skin, deep voice, and a penis...he's a pretty woman

i wish all puppies were hideous

All puppies are hideous, your wish is void and causes a singularity in your brain which destroys the planet. Way to go!

I wish singularities would happen less often.

They do, but you're the second one to wish that today, thus granting your wish even further but oxymoronically causing a wormhole in the space/time contiuum which allows singularity secreting aliens to enter our dimension and increasing the occurances of singularities - so now you are utterly miserable.

I wish that made any sense whatsoever...