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Apart from music, what brings you 'fulfilment'? 
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Post Apart from music, what brings you 'fulfilment'?

As cheesy and un-Doom as the question may sound, I must say I find it a legitimate and genuinely interesting one. Many people seem to live their lives following more or less predefined paths and patterns and hardly ever stop to wonder whether it fulfils them, and if it doesn't, what they could do to change that. Now it's obvious that most of us around here draw a good amount of fulfilment (or at least deep enjoyment) from their interest in and reception of music, but it can't fulfil all the human needs, can it? Still, the perception of what is fulfilling and what isn't can be very different, as can the methods to achieve fulfilment. But remember that this is still a Doom forum, so don't give me that hippie crap along the lines of "We're all happy and love each other very much" or "Everything is energy and energy is you and me"... :p

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Sun Feb 16, 2014 4:45 pm
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Post Re: Apart from music, what brings you 'fulfilment'?

car-tuning! Nothing like a beautiful spoiler and F1 tyres on a Fiat 600.

And I do love everybody, secretly.

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Sun Feb 16, 2014 4:50 pm
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Post Re: Apart from music, what brings you 'fulfilment'?

d.mimøsa wrote:
so don't give me that hippie crap along the lines of "We're all happy and love each other very much" or "Everything is energy and energy is you and me"... :p

You clearly need to listen to more Steve Hillage albums, no doubt coming to a prog-rock thread near you very shortly :D

baphomet wrote:
car-tuning! Nothing like a beautiful spoiler and F1 tyres on a Fiat 600.

And I do love everybody, secretly.

I'm not sure you're taking this completely seriously...
Image

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Sun Feb 16, 2014 5:00 pm
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Post Re: Apart from music, what brings you 'fulfilment'?

must be my bother-in-law, who got me into that awesome, but time-and money-consuming hobby... Love your car too, buddy!

and one more spoiled thread! :D

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Sun Feb 16, 2014 5:03 pm
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Post Re: Apart from music, what brings you 'fulfilment'?

Since the thread is spoiled anyway, let's make sure everybody knows the common enemy of the doomy cause:



But seriously now! :oldfart: It was a serious question from the outset.

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Sun Feb 16, 2014 5:08 pm
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Post Re: Apart from music, what brings you 'fulfilment'?

I was working up to a more serious response, which is that I'm not sure how to answer it!

It depends on what you mean by 'fulfilling': are you asking in the sense of primarily (particularly) satisfying and enjoyable, or in the sense that it carries some element of personal improvement or development?
In either case, I'm not sure I agree with the basic premise of predefinition, which seems to equate to spending some proportion of the day in routine or expected activities - it's a big assumption that those are done unquestioningly or devoid of fulfilment (either definition), or even that they weren't initially selected for the latter.
So is this mainly a sort of material 'what do you like doing' question, an abstract 'what makes you a more developed person', or a spiritual 'what truly makes you feel free' one?

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Sun Feb 16, 2014 6:36 pm
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Post Re: Apart from music, what brings you 'fulfilment'?

No, you've got it all wrong. What I mean is: what do you need (to have/do/achieve/...) in order to feel fulfilled, i.e. to feel like your life is what it ought to be and you could hardly ask for more (to put it in mildly exaggerated terms)? By fulfilment I mean a true, honest contentment with the state of affairs, the little day-to-day causes for complaint aside. A fulfilled life in one which doesn't constantly give you the impression that something is missing, be it a conscious or semi-/subconscious impression; a status quo in which you can feel at ease and say to yourself, "Things can remain like this", again put in somewhat absolute terms, but I think the basic direction should be clear now. To answer this, it doesn't really matter whether you actually feel - or have ever felt - like this: if you have, what made it possible? If you haven't, what was/is missing? There can be a healthy does of speculation involved, of course. But it's a fact that different people have different priorities in life - one person may feel fulfilled from starting a family, the other from starting a band, to simplify matters a bit. I do realise that it's part of being human that you're always driven to someplace new and always feel like embracing one change or the other, but even with that drive inside you, you can be relatively at peace with yourself and life as a whole; it can be a healthy and constructive drive, but it can also be a drive fed by some level of suffering which seeks relief through change, and in that case I wouldn't speak of fulfilment anymore. Perhaps the guiding question could even be rephrased to: "What makes life meaningful to you?" So it's not simply about activities you enjoy, even though in many cases they can be relevant, of course. If there's an activity without which you would feel incomplete, it probably belongs here.

And as for the assumption I made in my opening post - what I meant was that I often feel that people (not all of them, of course) don't really question their lives' development much. Perhaps it's also a phenomenon that differs nationally, but over here, the biographies of people are fairly pre-defined as far as career, family and all those basic premises are concerned, and I'm fairly sure things aren't that different throughout at least most of the so-called Western world. Many basic milestones of life seem to be followed because of social pressure rather than genuine commitment. Of course you can't generalise this, and today there are more and more people who attempt to break free from the chains of the system and find their own alternative lifestyle (although even the so-called 'alternative' lifestyles often seem pre-defined in their own way!), but still...

A simple example: Recently I went to the cinema with a 25 year old woman to see the documentary "Alphabet" which sheds a critical light on the worldwide educational ideals and systems, and after the film she told me she'd never before considered that it may be possible to question institutionalised school as such. That's the sort of short-sightedness I mean. For me the whole principle of schools has been questionable ever since I was maybe 14 or something. That doesn't mean I'm a better/smarter person, but I have a different view on things, and because I tend to live very consciously and have a natural tendency to analyse and question things, I also have the chance to choose for myself what I want from life and whether the situation I'm in or the goals I'm pursuing will actually do me any good. That's what I meant, although the whole story was primarily meant as a side note anyway - it doesn't really hold much merit for the answering of the initial question.

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Post Re: Apart from music, what brings you 'fulfilment'?

I can't answer that... my fulfilment at the moment is secondary to my own children's...

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Mon Feb 17, 2014 10:13 am
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Post Re: Apart from music, what brings you 'fulfilment'?

That's one reason why I don't have - and won't even have - any children. :;): But you should still be able to answer it: if it weren't for the children, or once they're old enough, what would/will be important?

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Mon Feb 17, 2014 10:19 am
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Post Re: Apart from music, what brings you 'fulfilment'?

d.mimøsa wrote:
That's one reason why I don't have - and won't even have - any children. :;): But you should still be able to answer it: if it weren't for the children, or once they're old enough, what would/will be important?



funnily enough, I don't think about it. I'm pretty practical like that. No point in fantasising about something I can't have, at least now. If I really had to pick something, it would be a pretty little house by the sea in Sicily, where I could spend part of the year, enjoying the weather and the food.

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Mon Feb 17, 2014 10:31 am
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Post Re: Apart from music, what brings you 'fulfilment'?

Sounds like a pleasant fantasy indeed. :)

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Mon Feb 17, 2014 10:33 am
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Post Re: Apart from music, what brings you 'fulfilment'?

d.mimøsa wrote:
Sounds like a pleasant fantasy indeed. :)



It will be reality at some point... :D I just need to save enough money.... or I'll just rent one! I've spent too much time in this country... I need to go back to my roots (although I'm not from Sicily, but nearby)... I'm going a bit mad... :)

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Mon Feb 17, 2014 10:46 am
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Post Re: Apart from music, what brings you 'fulfilment'?

Merchant of Doom wrote:



funnily enough, I don't think about it. I'm pretty practical like that. No point in fantasising about something I can't have, at least now. If I really had to pick something, it would be a pretty little house by the sea in Sicily, where I could spend part of the year, enjoying the weather and the food.


you're such a vulgar petit bourgeois! :D

edit: the questions raised is this thread are too personal a matter to be answered. Sorry, but I can't expose myself like that. I'd need an army of shrinks to help me find anykind of long-term fulfilment. And that'd be waisted money anyway...
That's why car-tuning is the only answer I'll give. :metalhead:

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Mon Feb 17, 2014 12:13 pm
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Post Re: Apart from music, what brings you 'fulfilment'?

spoilsport... or should I call you spoilersport? :D

I do agree it's personal... but don't think I'm revealing anything other people don't know already. You are more "private" than us, so I understand...

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Mon Feb 17, 2014 1:06 pm
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Post Re: Apart from music, what brings you 'fulfilment'?

Sure it's personal to some degree - more for some, less for others. And of course everybody is to reveal only as much as they find appropriate. It doesn't have to be about absolute/perfect fulfilment, but there have to be some things that at least motivate you to get up in the morning or give you the feeling that your day was successful and worthwhile on a personal level. But perhaps this is too much of a doomed forum after all... :D

Merch, I'm curious: did it involve any kind/degree of fulfilment for you to start a family? I mean, I'd like to believe that people start families for a reason...

Edit: of course it's possible (and probably reasonable) to remain on a rather general level and not go that much into detail. I'm really just interested to learn what people find important for a relatively content life. I guess my interest also derives from the fact that I'm currently questioning (and partly giving up on) my own priorities but haven't found any alternatives yet, resulting in a state of ideological limbo, so to speak.

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Post Re: Apart from music, what brings you 'fulfilment'?

d.mimøsa wrote:
Merch, I'm curious: did it involve any kind/degree of fulfilment for you to start a family? I mean, I'd like to believe that people start families for a reason...


not initially... meaning, I wasn't 100% convinced... I'm not the most decisive person, so I needed a kick on the ass... :) but once you have them, you can't do without... :D

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Post Re: Apart from music, what brings you 'fulfilment'?

I see - thanks. :)

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Post Re: Apart from music, what brings you 'fulfilment'?

Tough question, don't know if this will really answer it.

But I reckon my life is pretty much what it ought to be - and I'd have no-one to blame but myself if it wasn't. Along the lines of it's all just a journey: you play the hand you're dealt, with a bit of luck - some good, some bad - along the way, and the rest of it's your own work.
There's not much that I regret, I don't second-guess my decisions, and whatever consequences have been earned, so be it. But generally, it's been all about seeking incremental fulfilment along the way: achieving whatever mattered at the time, step by step. Some of those things still matter now, some are just memories of things I'm glad I did when I could, some are still being worked on. So it's probably fair to say I've never been unfulfilled, in the sense of aimlessly wondering what's missing, but have (with varying degrees of impatience, admittedly) always been working towards some current set of objectives, be they small or large.
If you like, it's pretty much summed up in the Serenity prayer: "God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other". Or maybe, more simply, my glass is pretty much always half-full.

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Tue Feb 18, 2014 11:42 am
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Post Re: Apart from music, what brings you 'fulfilment'?

So, in one sentence, fulfilment for you is primarily a question of attitude rather than a matter of specific factors which need to be present - does that sound about right?

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Tue Feb 18, 2014 5:09 pm
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Post Re: Apart from music, what brings you 'fulfilment'?

let me give you a few of tips if you want to make your life not only more bearable, but also more meaningful...

one: find someone to love and be loved by. This is basics. This gives meaning, whatever it can be. Although as an individual you're still be alone in yourself, you won't be alone outside of yourself. This is mental support, intellectual exchanges, plans that you couldn't achieve by yourself, this is also increased material comfort, what can't be neglected, as can't be the overall euphoric effects.
two: find yourself some responsabilties to carry on that YOU find important. It can be political, it can be ideological, it can be those, simple ones, that result from a job you like. The meaning comes from the interest you put in it.
three: cultivate yourself, read, watch interesting movies, attend exhibitions, and make art in the broad sense of the term one the most important axis of your life.
four: realize life is short, meaningless, think about your own death often, watch in the eye the abjection of the world and try to be better than the vast majority of men.

There is no possible fulfilment; there are bits of if, scattered here and there, a collection of short joys, of small contentments and satisfactions that together, when added, makes a life not too hard to bear.

Or embrace Bouddism and become a new Siddhartah, many have tried.

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Tue Feb 18, 2014 5:43 pm
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