When I was asked if I'd like to do an article about my band, a rather large one, a -I think they call it a smile?- appeared upon the face nature unfortunately bestowed upon me. Wow, I thought, as we are labelless, hardly prolific, and not that well-known. But somebody wants me to do a story on Avernus? Ok! Where do I start? I go into this with pride and recollection, tainted with a bit of caution, we aren't exactly world renown, so I will be humble, honest and candid, please forgive me.Avernus started in late 92, in an ex-guitarist's basement, just three kids who liked their Paradise Lost a bit too much. The original line-up was Rick Yifrach on drums, this total whackjob, who was my best friend at the time, on guitar (also supplied the basement) and myself attempting vocals. Whackjob, or Jason, had these songs completely written, and no band to perform them. Very doomy stuff, but Jason's passion for brutal grind was present as well, yep we used to grind, and we sucked at it. J wrote everything the first year of the band. Much to our disliking, but we had a full band, a couple shows under our belts and we were to record our first demo, so we put up with his dillusions and the fact the rest of us (Tony Volpe on bass, Erik Kikke on guitar who replaced some jerk with a bad mullet) were not happy.
Late '93 spawned our first and worst demo 'A delicate Tracery of Red'. Man did it suck. Sloppy, bad mix, shitty tones, everything a first demo usually has, but it gave us enough impetus to start making plans to ditch Jason's ass, and do what we truly wanted to; Epic, melodic doom!!!!!!!! We parted ways with Jason in December of 93,with the notion that our remaining guitarist, Erik, had some riffs and I had a guitar synthesizer to create the fake string instruments, and such, that would flesh out the totally European metal influenced ideas from our naïve heads into reality. The first riffs Erik and I threw together eventually turned into our "first song" which I entitled 'Anastasia'. We spent two months perfecting it and then headed into the studio with our new second guitarist Bobby Franco. We released about 500 singles of 'Anastasia' to various zines, labels, important people, to whomever for FREE! This was my very expensive idea, but it seemed to work, as we started to receive a lot of attention, plus we kinda stood out in the sea of brutal death metal Chicago is so well known for. The rest of the year saw us playing countless shows, hooking up with a manager, Darrell Vicious and booking studio time everytime we had written a new song. To my recollection we wrote around 5 tunes, but only 4 made it onto our upcoming demo, which we decided to entitle 'Sadness'. I remember Rick Y. throwing around the idea that we name it 'Of Beauty and Sadness', the original name for the last song on this demo, 'Ashes of Adoration'. I thought about it, but I felt it was TOO pretentious and asked that we just shorten it to 'Sadness' and apparently he agreed. Our demo release for 'Sadness' was too be a proud moment for us. In a short year we accomplished more than we ever hoped for, we were motivated, excited, and ready to fuck shit up, but by what has now come to be known as the "Avernus curse", things don't happen the way we want them to... ever. The company manufacturing the demo went on vacation, and well, we had a whole lot of nothing to sell at our demo release party, except for some atrocious longsleeves Darrell managed to print up for us. But he only made like 10 of them and they sold out before the show even started! This irony would be the eternal thorn in our sorry sides, which we have learned to accept through time.'Sadness' was due to be released at anytime soon and the expectations were growing. But we continued to write, and we found ourselves progressing as musicians, the naiveté from a year before had grown into focus and a need to expand the sound, try new things, etc. 'Godlessness' was a result of this transition and lo and behold thy mighty overused celtic-type riff! (just kidding). This song was the first of many Avernus songs to accent a more laid-back atmosphere in order to create a greater overall dynamic, a rollercoaster of a song if you ask me. We brought in acoustic instruments, greater use of the clean vocals (my first pathetic attempt) and pretty much set the stage for our one song I still feel sticks out from our other ones.
"MetalBlade Records likes our shit!" I made the call to the other idiots and like me they were beyond ecstatic. Marco Barbieri heard the demo and wanted 'An endless sea of evening' to appear on their
'Metal Massacre11' compilation. But wanted us to get rid of the intro that precedes this song. So Sheffield studio was making some $$$ off of our frequent visits, but hey this was Metal Blade records! So off I went following orders, only to find days later that Marco really liked 'Godlessness' more, and wanted that song instead. Gotta love the business! Anyway, throwing away money on nothing has always been a pleasure, 'nuff said. Needless to say, Metal Blade did not pick us up (remember the curse) but we went ahead with our lives, with nary a tear in sight. The summer of 1995 was a crucial time for us as our name was really beginning to spread, and the promise of delivering the goods was heavy upon our shoulders. 'Sadness' was selling really well to my surprise. The word that our live presentation was an experience to not miss (I still don't see that, we don't suck live but), and we were to play the mother of all Metal festivals; the Milwaukee Metalfest. So what did we do? Drop the growls, tune up the guitars to a higher register and play nothing off of the demo that was the impetus behind our growing notoriety (yeah right!). Yep, kids, we spit bile into our recipe! The first crack had formed and I was out of spackle. Basically, our performance at the fest was that of 5 guys and one Kim Goss. Just standing there, playing 2 new songs never performed live (coz' they were written a week before the fest) and 'Godlessness' which was the only thing resembling the Avernus I envisioned to never change. 
The plans to put out our next demo which I felt like calling 'Godlessness' were scrapped due to the constant changes within the band, plus money was tight, having blown my wad on 'Sadness', plus the band had decided without me, to drop the death metal vocals, (hey guys maybe you should let the VOCALIST in on this one?!). They decided I would be singing clean, even though I never have before, yep things were looking grim. My reaction was shot into anxiety when the other guys announced they were not sure they wanted to continue doing Avernus, as they were burnt out on the whole doom thing, taking months to complete one song, playing only to one scene, etc. But my doubts began to dwindle a bit when writing became easier, faster and ideas we might of forsaken resurfaced. But my voice was suffering, as I was lost due to the fact that I was untrained vocally and I was horribly unconfident about my new position. But I went ahead and tried anyway, time would provide the skills and confidence I needed later on. We added an additional keyboardist, Chris P., during the summer of 1995 to assist me in playing the G-synth, and actually singing would be a bit of a war for me. Chris had no skills as a keyboardist, but he was a fast learner, plus he was dedicated to the hilt, good enough for Avernus, good enough for me. Word got out about our "progression" or whatever you want to call it and we were being dismissed even before we introduced any of these new songs. I wasn't surprised at all, in fact I was waiting for it and boy, did we get it. The first show where we unveiled the new material was supporting Cathedral and Trouble (who are from my neck of the woods). The show itself was, um, decent, but we left a lot to be desired, needless to say we did NOT steal that show. Reaction to that era stemmed from "I like the new stuff better" to "They're a bunch of goth-wanna-be's" and everything in-between. But we didn't let it phase us, we kept up with writing and playing shows, tightening our craft while we were drifting apart as people. I remember the day Yifrach came to practice flashing some new and expensive duds. The next day he pulled up in a Masarati, it was used, but nevertheless, it was something I couldn't buy (nor would I want to). Then he introduced us to some newly required friends, all of them dressed the same, acting the same. I wanted them to all die the same too. Yifrach's gradual love-loss for metal came over time, but my god the man had not only changed his taste musically, but now he'd sold out to $? Yes, Rick Yifrach had died, and some cheap, shallow imposter had replaced him. I thought it couldn't get any worse, really I did, but oh my god it did, and it was all my fault. One night I drove Mr.G-Q home (apparently the Masarati was in the shop) and decided to throw in some Dead Can Dance, followed by some Loreena Mackennit. As we listened G-Q must have had some kind of revelation or something. Within minutes, he had absolutely absorbed the music and decided that Avernus could utilize elements from these artists. So we dug our grave even deeper, isolating ourselves from any scene, much less the Metal underground. We would eventually end up creating our own lonely scene known as "?" The bongo's were kinda cool at first, and the shock aspect of dragging them onstage in front of a bunch of kids in Slayer shirts was appealing. But soon the overkill factor set in as G-Q wanted them included in every song! The cracks began to grow bigger, but I like to think we ignored them as to pretend they didn't exist and that as a band we were happier than ever, blah, blah, blah.
Summer of '96 saw the release of our third demo, 'A Farewell to Eden', which we released at the second Milwaukee Metalfest to much acclaim and disappointment. At this particular fest we gained new fans and lost some old ones, but our show this year had improved a lot over our virgin appearance a year earlier. Despite the cracks in the fold, our name was out , and we signed to the brand new MIA/Olympic records. They decided to remix the 'Eden' demo and release it as our debut 'Of the Fallen...'. We originally recorded the album in digital. But the label felt it needed a warmer more organic sound, so we switched the tapes to analog sound, lost a really cool guitar solo somewhere during the process (if anyone finds it let us know!) and pretty much butchered the damn thing, leaving only a shadow of what our debut could've been. If you asked me what I like the best on our debut, I'd have to say the female vocals, courtesy of Rhiannon from a particularly good band called Somnus. Ok since I'm on this topic of chick singers, I'll go on the record and say that I really don't plan on using them in Avernus for a long time, if ever again. It may add another dimension, but it's old, and I'm quite burnt out on them. I will state that people NOW hear about us because of one miss Kim Goss (Sinergy, Therion, Ancient, etc.) and I have no problem with that. But if they think there will be some kind of reunion with the aforementioned, they must put down that crack pipe and realize wishes don't always come true. 
The year of 1997 was supposed to be the year for Avernus, we had a label, an album out, we did a small tour and the name was growing. Earlier in late '96, Yifrach and guitarist Bobby Franco, decided to leave due to the fact they realized we probably weren't gonna make any $$$ (duh!), and our keyboardist at the time, Chris P., was let go a few months prior. I quickly assembled a new team, Jimmy Genenz replaced Bobby, my friend Mike got the keyboard position and this guy who dressed like Korn somehow ended up on drums. Yep, this was gonna be the best line-up ever. Mike and Korn guy were gone pretty much after the tour, leaving only Tony, Erik, Jimmy (who thankfully is still with me today) and myself. So we reacted out of necessity, we got Chris and Yifrach back, a bad, bad move. 
The summer proved to be one that would kill the old "me", and the way I look at life. My mother died in early July, due to the wonderful medical profession's little evil known as malpractice, the label was on our ass because the album was not selling well, and I didn't know who to trust anymore. Despite the impending depression and aftershock of my mother's death, we entered the studio a week before the Milwaukee Metalfest97'. We pressed 500 copies of two new songs, without the labels consent, and gave them away for FREE, an expensive, but desperate move to get Avernus out there even more. Luckily, we kicked major ass at Milwaukee, and our sales rised. But that was the end of our good luck for 1997. The fall proved to be the death knell of our relationship with Rick Yifrach, who we booted this time for the things that drove us apart in the first place. We quickly replaced him with our current drummer, Bill Hamming. Winter around here is always cold, lifeless and depressing, which reflected my state of being. I was experiencing one long anxiety attack that went on for months without end, the depression that stemmed from the aforementioned death, the fact the band hadn't written anything, much less done anything since almost a year before and other things involving family. This was threatening to kill me, I was at the point that I didn't care if I lived or died anymore. I decided to seek therapy, which helped me find my way out of the doldrums, the emptiness, the despair. We somehow wrote a couple of tunes within this turbulence. Not our best, but we felt like hit bottom. The reviews for 'Fallen' were nothing to smile at. Much less the lost fans or the lost members and we lost the reason why we formed in the first place. So these not-so-great songs became like a candle in a window, showing us the way home. I decided to title one of these songs 'downpour', basically a return to the darker and heavier Avernus I so missed. I fired Chris P. from the band, as he didn't agree with us wanting to not only revisit the 'Sadness'songs live, but return to that style. Tony left a little before him, Erik had gone somewhere in between, but Jim, Billy and myself kept going, which brings us to NOW.
Chris and Tony have been replaced by sirs Brian Whited and Jeff Joseph, both the best bassist, and keyboardist I've had the pleasure to work with. Also they lack the irrational qualities their predecessors unfortunately possessed. We have managed to play shows with In Flames, Moonspell, Nevermore and Cradle of Filth among others. I have decided to leave the synth stuff to Jeff. I have stored away my guitar synth for only a microphone and stage space (which I'm getting used to at the moment). And we have come up with a new batch of quality material we feel is some of our best work to date.
Last year we released a compilation Cd 'Where the Sleeping Shadows Lie', which started as a good reason to release 'Sadness' on disc, then escalated into a sonic collage of rarities and such. Let me thank Cursed Prod. for putting it out. At least someone still likes us! Basically we felt the need to put it out as something for our fans, for ourselves, a reminder of where we come from and where we can go. 
You know, the past ain't such a bad place to be now that I think about it. If I'm to say anything to a new band, it's that you should take chances if your heart tells you to. Do what is right, express what you feel and do it with PASSION. As passionate as the ones who will be spitting on you for attempting to do something different, like the way grind heads head to the bar when we hit the stage, the way "only brutal death metal" dudes might be afraid to admit they enjoy something with a melody and atmosphere, the way we can only play 2-3 songs at the Milwaukee Metalfest cuz our songs are too damn loooooooong. It all comes down to the passion for such tribulations. Do it, earn your scars, defy others, and make your mark, and do it because you love it and you need it. Then your music will always have that heart million dollar corporate music machines will never have. So what have I learned these past 8 years? That I won't make any money off my music? Yes, that I probably. That I won't affect people's lives? Yes. That I care about these things? No.
- Rick McCoy (Avernus)
(29 September 2001 )
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